Motherhood

The other day I watched Oprah, which I normally do not do, and it was about these mothers that had written a few books on motherhood. It was funny for me to hear their responses because it is exactly how I feel! Motherhood is hard! They said that when writing their books they would call anonymous mothers and talk to them and only after 20 minutes or so the moms would confess that they are not totally happy being a mother. This was only after the women writing the books commented on how happy, together and balanced the other mothers were. It is amazing that even to a complete stranger moms won't admit their challenges. It's like people think you must not love your children or want to be with them if you admit you are not totally happy being a mother.

Andy and I have always talked about this because when I had the boys I really felt alone in my challenges. I thought I had made a huge mistake having children because it was so extremely hard! Although most people I would talk to seemed to have it "together" and not have any complaints or have any of the same problems I was having. I did have one friend who also had a baby who did not sleep during the day and spit up gallons after every meal just like mine did and that was very reassuring to me. I thought I must me doing something wrong because no one else was having the same problems as me.

I now know that there are lots of resources and lots of people will "come clean" as to what it is like to be a mom. I don't want to be negative and I do love being a mom and feel very blessed to be able to spend these early years at home with my children, but I will be the first to admit that it is NOTHING like I thought it would be! I just can't understand people that say it is so perfect being a mom and they love it everyday. Andy and I think to ourselves, "Seriously?!", but maybe it is for them and maybe they do have the perfect baby or have live in help:) Andy is somewhat of a negative person, so maybe that has a lot to do with how we think. We obviously don't hate having children, because we are having another one and it was planned. However, I feel like this time around will be different. I know it will still be hard, but I know what challenges I now face or at least some of the challenges.

I know that before I was a mom I would have not listened to anyone tell me how hard this was going to be. I got mad at people that would comment that I would have my hands full with twin boys and I was going to need help. I am kinda stubborn and wanted to find out for myself, so I didn't really want much help at all until I realized that it was hard. That is why I try and tell people in a gentle way the truth about having twins and being a first time mom, but only if they ask me and I do try and make it as positive as possible.

It is hard going into it all with blinders on, which is totally what I did! I thought that babies slept all the time, at least during the day, and it was going to be a breeze to nurse and they would sleep right away in their cribs. NOT of us! None of those things happened, but it was all OK. They slept in their car seats for several months and that was fine because they loved the car seat and would sleep in it during the day so that I could get out of the house and have them sleep the whole time while running errands. I know that what works for one doesn't always work for another and that as a mom the most important thing is to do what works for you and your baby to help you keep your sanity. So if my baby doesn't want to sleep in the crib for 5 months, but will sleep through the night in the car seat at 12 weeks that is perfectly fine with me! As long as I am getting sleep that is all that matters:)

I do believe that the happiness of motherhood does outweigh the bad, but some days it is very hard to see it that way. I really just try and take one moment at a time and try to remember that when they are fourteen I am probably going to wish they were four again!

Here is the Amazon link to the books by the women who were on Oprah http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=books&field-author=Trisha%20Ashworth&page=1. I definitely think they sound like fun reads.